Forgot to put an intro card on this video – where is my head? I dunno. *eyeroll*
So, excess emotions? Straightforward right? Nope. Not only are we talking about being overwhelmed by emotional states in illness (such as despair or anger), we’re talking about regaining emotions after being flatlined for a long time and not knowing how to express them. Feeling like every response is either too much or too little to be authentic and genuine. Is that a problem? Yes. As we already feel alienated, this inability to judge the level of an emotional response can be really discouraging. There comes a fear of expressing emotion in any situation, just in case it may be wrong, and expression is part of being human.
There’s also the fact that lots of these emotions you’re feeling again for the first time are ones you can’t quite define, so you don’t really know what response you should be making for them, or even if there is an approproate response to make. It’s a minefield, both within and without, and for those newly emerging back into the social sphere can be a huge detriment to continue pushing forward and making steps toward being fully social/integrated again.
I think it’s a matter of being patient. It’ll take time to relearn or to learn the right responses and to stop feeling like every response you make is too much (which is a judgement thing not necessarily based in truth). If anything, try to avoid erring too much on the side of inexpression. People can’t see how you feel and help (if you need it) or respond if you show nothing, and if you want to interact (this is not for those who aren’t ready to try yet) that will be a detriment and deterrent to interaction. Be a little brave.
Continued recovery means pushing at your boundaries to get back into the world. You have to learn to embrace/express those feelings and stop apologising for them. They are normal. They are human.