Talking in this one about pyjamas/relaxing time and how, when you’ve begun recovery from MH issues they can take on unusual significance. Not the normal wearing of pyjamas when asleep, the wearing of them once awake, even when you’re having a lazy day and have nothing left to do but relax.
Thing is, you see, you associate the constant wearing of pyjamas, or any other ‘easy’ clothes as an illness behaviour and illness behaviours in recovery do not feel safe. They feel as if they could send you backwards and make you ill again. This is of course very, very unlikely to happen, but once you’ve been ill the thought of getting ill again terrifies you and so small matters like this can become very significant.
I’m very much working on feeling comfortable wearing pyjamas on a weekend, say, when I have nothing left to do but chill. I can for a certain amount of time, but if I have to get up and do something task-like (ie make dinner) I have to get dressed. I begin to fear that if I do a task in my pyjamas I’ll trigger ill thoughts and end up falling out of the routine of completing tasks that I’ve worked so hard to get into.
The same with relaxing, whether in pyjamas or not, I get very edgy and keep thinking I should be up doing something just incase the relaxing becomes an illness behaviour and turns into being unable to do things. It is, again, not going to happen, but you can’t help worrying. Recovery is a difficult and fragile time, so (as I’ve said time and time again) you have got to be patient and compassionate with yourself.
I think these are perfectly normal feelings and reactions, so I wanted to share them in case someone else was feeling the same and worrying about it. I also wanted to say that it’s OK to stay in your pyjamas or to need to get dressed, as long as you’re watching yourself to be sure every is OK. If routine or thoughts begin to slip then you know that you need to seek help.
No links today, but there are plenty of excellent links on my other MHM posts if you’re in need of help, or you can leave me a comment or email me at renwarom at yahoo dot co dot uk. I’m not a professional but I’m here if anyone needs to talk.