Favoured Fives…B Movies

New things! Fun things! Lots of new, fun things! OK, well, one. Unless you found the Renfield Review fun, then it’s two. Today is a Favoured Five day. This is a day upon which I randomly pick a thing (fruit, music genre, book genre, film genre, items of clothing, shoes, actors/tresses…you get the picture) and give you my favoured five. Not my favourite, no, because who the hell wants to be limited to set favourites (although (and this is a caveat) some of these will be firm faves of mine), when you can pick five of the ones you most favour at the moment? Yes, this is a listy thing for the fickle at heart (ie me). So, let us go forth and uncover today’s topic. What, campers, shall today’s favoured five be plucked from? You read the title didn’t you? *grin* YES, it’s B-movies! WOOHOO!

FAVOURED FIVE: B-MOVIES

 

Creeping through the hay at number 5 comes:

FIEND WITHOUT A FACE!

I adore this movie. No lie. The moment the fiend is revealed has to be one of the funniest moments in movie history. Not only that, but this movie has it all: hysterical woman, stiff-upper-lipped men, mad professors, corpses with the brain and spinal column missing, things moving in the hay, strange noises, and a classic showdown.

fiendwithoutaface

Locked in a house together, the windows and doors barricaded, hysterical woman is protected by the stiff-upper-lips of gentlemen of varying ages, moustaches (Ok, nobody has a moustache, but those stiff upper lips have earned such foliage, by thunder!) and handsomeness.

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Thrill at the horror! Gasp at the suspense! Scream as the fiends attack! Laugh hysterically as stiff-upper-lipped man gets the girl by virtue of having a stiff upper lip and being handsome. The uniform might help. By jingo, it’s the right stuff, Smedley!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crashing down at number 4, hideous and hungry, we find:

THE BLOB (1988)

OK, maybe I’ll be in for some flack here, because the original is amazeballs, but the reason I prefer the 80s remake is simple, the levels of squeem. It’s just way more icky and gooey, and fun. I heart it.

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From Kevin Dillon’s flowing locks, to the multifarious melting deaths, this movie makes me happy. And I KNOW, I DO, that McQueen out-acts Dillon by about a bajillionty points, even with the healthy dollops 1950’s melodrama in the original, but I don’t care.

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The 1988 version is cheesy, gory, glorious and fun, the blob in this is a genuine monster, which it kinda wasn’t in the original, however fresh the idea was then. This remake, whilst leaning more toward horror than sci-fi, and taking huge liberties with the original idea, is frankly one the most perfect popcorn and hilarity movies ever after Dead Alive (which is a pure, awesome, hilarious horror movie despite its b-movie budget and production).

 

 

 

 

 

At number 3, bubbling beneath the surface and coming to a refrigerator near you, is the delicious: THE STUFF

Ah yes, you know it well, it’s that famous sweet treat that’ll eat you all up on the inside and make you its puppet. The Stuff.

stuff attack

Gosh, I remember when I first saw this. Not when it came out, I was never allowed to watch any kind of horror movie then. It was when I got my own tv in my teens and started watching late night television when I couldn’t sleep. I wasn’t a big fan of scary movies, but this didn’t scare me at all. I laughed my way through it. I thought it was brilliant, especially this scene:

Superb. Again with the cheese, slightly less gore but there we go, the lack of gore is more than recompensed by the sheer laugh-out-loud melodramatic fun of this movie.

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Sweets are dangerous, folks. Believe it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Floating in on the solar winds, is number 2: INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS (1978)

Technically, this incredible remake of an already excellent original, may not actually be a B-movie. I’m not enough of an expert on the distinctions to say. I regard it as one because the original most assuredly was. I think this is one of the best remakes ever.

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The ending absolutely shat me up as a teen. The rest of the movie, whilst it didn’t scare me, really tapped in to my imagination. The effects are great, the suspense is truly gripping, and whilst Goldblum manages, as ever, to overact his way through the entire movie, he is consistently charming, and buoyed by the gravity of both Sutherland and Nimoy’s performances.

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For me though, as a young female teen, it was Brooke Adams’ performance as Elizabeth that made the film for me. Unlike Nancy (poor Veronica Cartwright always plays the flakes), Elizabeth’s consistent bravery in the face of sheer horrors made her my heroine. I thought she was awesome, which made the ending even more gut-wrenchingly scary. Bravo, Philip Kaufman, you utter bastard!

 

 

 

*fanfare*

Burrowing in from under the earth to devour number one whole, it’s: TREMORS

Be still my beating heart. I mean, how can I count the ways in which I love this movie? It is my favourite movie OF ALL TIME.

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It has everything you could ask for: a host of full-on amazing characters, every line is a quippable one, brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT monsters, genius set-pieces, great, bloody gore, belly-ache-making humour, elephant guns, Egg Shen, a KICK-ARSE female lead, Kevin Bacon’s tight little butt running all over the desert, and, last but not least, it has STAMPEEEEEEEEDE.

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Dear Hades I adore this movie, with every last stringy fibre of my being. I have watched it a billion times and will watch it a billion more, and you can call me shallow and easily amused all you like, because if it means this movie can be mine forever I do not care! LOVE EEEEEEET. The team spirit, the laughter, the ingenuity, the EMOTIONS, all of them! *hugs it ferociously*

tremors-hiding-on-rock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let me leave you with a few (OK maybe a dozen) more clips:

‘Broke into the wrong goddamned rec room, didn’t you? You bastard!’

‘Stampeeeede!’

‘You guys know how to pole vault?’

I’ll stop there, or I’ll just post the whole movie and very likely get into trouble. Oops. So there we have it, my favoured five B-movies, with my favourite movie of all time hogging the top spot, bless its little cotton, eating you from under the ground, graboid-tentacled cotton knickers.

I hope you enjoyed this. I know it wasn’t informative. I don’t want to lecture on these posts, or get all academic, I kinda just want to burble with excitement about all the things I love, so that, if you don’t know about them, you might try them and love them too. Spreading the love. *hippy vibes*

Peace out.

NEXT TIME ON FAVOURED FIVES: My five favoured Carpenter movies. Oh boy, this one is going to be a DOOZY.

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