How to Resolve Resolution Riddles.

It has come to my attention that we’re all talking the big talk and more than a few of us are saying ‘hold the hell on there, cowpoke, this is all just smoke blowing to the breeze, this resolution bollocks, and who the hell is going to keep to it anyoldhow?’. So I figured I’d let you all in on a little secret. I made me some plans. I didn’t make any damned resolutions and I’m about to tell you for why. Whether you want to hear it or not, with a little blog posty I just rustled up fresh from the brain slime. Enjoy:

Well, it’s that time again… that fresh new unopened packet of year to dig into and make a damn good mess with. Isn’t it exciting? How shall we do this? Boiled, grilled, fried, frappe? I mean, because it’s not exactly easy, even with all these shiny, gleaming little promises we’ve made ourselves to do better, live better, BE better.

Thing is, when it comes down to it, that step from one year to the other is not a magical portal through which we emerge, blinking, into the fresh bought scent of a new self, it’s just another tomorrow. So how do we face the resolutions we’ve made and wrestle them into a semblance of what I like to call ‘do-ability’?

Firstly, let’s not treat this New Year thing like it’s made of unicorn magic, hmmm? Let’s be real, people. Let’s hang, draw and quarter the Disney sparkle of media-fed unreality and turn and face the Rocky-like fist of stone cold reality. Fact is it doesn’t take a New Year to make a new you. Change happens slowly, it has to if it’s going to take, and change can happen any old time you commit to making it.

You tried winging it? I know I have. Flash diet. Flash spurt of exercising. Flash decision to stop smoking. Do they work? Hell to the no! And resolutions are the same, bright shiny flashes of ‘can-do’ thinking born in the boozy entrails and glitter of Christmas into New Year. Those puppies haven’t a nun’s chance in a brothel of surviving.

To really get that change happening, you have to take a vow with yourself. You have to decide that, by hook or by crook, inch by painful inch, you are going to fundamentally shake up your world and turn it the fuck upside down. You’ve got to give that reflection a good, hard, assessing look, Clint Eastwood the ever-living hell out of it, and tell yourself ‘I will make changes and I will stick to them’.

Sound the same as resolutions to you? Then you are not HEARING me. These are not flash in the pan, mass fix overhauls that you’ll be undertaking. You don’t need a New Year for these puppies, any old damn day will do. For these will be the gradual and unshrinking commitment to breaking old habits and building better ones from the ground up. Baby steps. Those first, limb-shaking strides into a new being.

This is not a quick fix. It is not even a cure-all for your end of year, beginning of New Year ills. It’s scary and profound as marriage. It’s a contract with yourself, not one that will take place over the next twelve months. Sod those bitches. This is a lifetime effort. A stride into the big blue yonder of the future. Your new future, the one where you don’t make New Year resolutions any more because every day you are striving toward your goals in every way.

Because when we make resolutions we’re really saying ‘I know something’s wrong with how I do this thing called life and I want to change it’ but we look at it all the wrong way. Through that glittery, shiny, boozy portal of lies. We’ve got to look at it as an on-going project. A pact with the self:

“I WILL begin to take steps toward the goals that I have dreamed about. I will not lie to myself about doing this all at once, this is a journey and every step is as important as the last. The destination is not the object, the next step and the determination to make it is the object.”

Truth is, we make shiny promises to ourselves each New Year because, deep down, we know we’ll never keep them. It’s a panacea. Now, tell me, do you want the panacea or do you want the mother effing CURE? If you want the cure, you have to man up, strap on your fighting britches and kick the ever-loving hell out of every day of your life.

Like I’ve said, we’re not talking immediate, massive overhaul. Just every single day making clear steps toward your goals, the things you most want to make good on for yourself, your betterment. Eat more fruit and veg, take 20 mins to do high knees (cardio baby), write those 500 words, read those books chapter by chapter, pick up a pencil and draw. Put the pedal to the metal in other words and get going on doing things instead of resolving to do them! Hustle them tail feathers and don’t hustle yourself with empty, shiny resolutions. PROVE it to yourself with solid, accountable actions.

Action by action you will build confidence, build determination, begin to build the foundations of those new habits and you will see yourself change. Bit by bit. Inch by inch. Until, one day, you look in the mirror and you see the person you were striving to be actually looking back at you, and you will have done it without ever having to rely on some cronky New Year bullshit. Now if that isn’t something to step up and put on your game face for, I don’t know what the hell is.

Don’t forget, a resolution is a decision to do something, an action is a physical, accountable achievement.

I’m on the new lifetime plan, mother effers, who in hell is with me!


3 thoughts on “How to Resolve Resolution Riddles.

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