Well, we’re all getting festive up in here are we not? Jolly hollying away the days in a swooning merriment of wine and song… and possibly a bit more wine, oh why not, pass us the bottle love… glug glug *thunk*.
In honour of the festive season, as I’m a (yes) weirdo, more than a little over fond of ridiculously obvious wordplay and, frankly, rather allergic to saccharine, I thought I’d do my very own version of the whole yuletidey twelve nonsense.
My twelve slays of Christmas. Yes. Slays. Oh but isn’t it deliciously naff? Slays/days slays/sleighs – good lord is there no end to her word crimes? No… no there isn’t. Anyhoo, here for all you horror aficionados I present twelve of my favourite movie kills. Some of the coolest all of time in my own humble (and somewhat bloodthirsty) opinion in no particular order and with no particular seriousness.
No indeed… it’s not a countdown from my least favourite to most just some of the ones I love given to you in an amusing riff on the twelve days in gory slayage – enjoy!
On the first slay of Christmas Norman Bates gave to me, a perfect slashing in the shower scene:
On the second slay of Christmas what is this that I see? Death by stereo with beheading via electricity:
On the third slay of Christmas a church did gift to give me, a head pulped by a falling lump of masonry:
On the fourth slay of Christmas whilst wearing her nightie, Tina boogied on the ceiling with Freddy:
On the fifth slay of Christmas Jason came to camp for tea and ate co-ed boil in the bag with me:
On the sixth slay of Christmas dear Carrie gave to me seven knives to crucify her dear old mummy:
On the seventh slay of Christmas the Cenobites came to play and ‘Jesus Wept’ on that fateful slay:
On the eighth slay of Christmas the Mother’s tears they shed, and a curator had a pear shoved in her head:
On the ninth slay of Christmas a pane of glass did fall, and squash poor Timmy near the shopping mall:
On the tenth slay of Christmas as tribute to Judas Priest, Freddy made himself a Turbo Lovin’ machine:
On the eleventh slay of Christmas a lawnmower was used to reduce some Zombie to some Zombie Juice:
On the twelfth slay of Christmas a spoilt brat got so peeved, he span his girlfriend round and made her bleed:
And there we have it! My twelve slays of Christmas. That last one was a doozy to get hold of, had to find the movie and take screen shots. Can you imagine? Such an awesome kill scene from such an awesome movie and no one has put any shots of it on the net! Sacrilege!
Happy horrordays… um… I mean holidays of course! 😛
Please do not be offended. And if you are, please keep it to yourself, there was fair warning in the title and this was all done in a spirit of (admittedly) rather gruesome fun.